When Love Hurts: The Tell-Tale Signs

Love is one of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences we can have in life. But love can also be complicated and, occasionally, dangerous. We’ve all heard or experienced cases of dangerous love. Scarred by love. Love gone wrong. Rogue.

Here are the tell-tale signs you should always be on the lookout for:

1. Love making us blind to warning signs

We may be so in love with someone that we ignore obvious red flags and warning signs. This can lead us into harmful and even abusive relationships. It’s the hope they see and feel our pain coupled with the desire to succeed that makes it harder to call it quits.

Psychology argues people overlook warning signs while in love because they are under the influence of three main chemicals:

Norepinephrine: This is similar to adrenaline and is responsible for the giddy feeling we get when we’re attracted to someone. It’s also what gives us butterflies in our stomachs and makes our hearts race.

Dopamine: This is the “reward” chemical that gives us a sense of pleasure when we do something like, well, fall in love.

Serotonin: Also known as the “love hormone,” this one is released when we feel bonded to another person. It’s what makes us feel happy and content in a relationship.

So, it’s forgivable if you made mistakes in the past but it’s always advisable to hit the reset button once in a while. Evaluate your values, dreams, and aspirations to see whether you’re on track. If not; look into the mirror and make some hard decisions.

2. Love can make us lose ourselves

In some relationships, love isn’t about finding someone who completes us but rather about losing ourselves. We can become so wrapped up in another person that we forget who we are and what we want in life.

If you’re in a relationship and find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior or downplaying their negative qualities, it may be time to take a step back and reassess things. Remember, a healthy relationship should bring out the best in you, not the worst.

3. Love can make us do crazy things

Yes, maybe a little crazy but extremes? NO!

We’ve all heard stories (or maybe even experienced them firsthand) of people doing some pretty crazy things in the name of love. From stalking to lying to cheating, love can make us do things we never thought we were capable of doing.

When you’re in love, it’s important to keep a level head and remember that no one is perfect. If you find yourself crossing boundaries or doing things that make you feel uncomfortable, it’s time to have a talk with your partner.

4. Toxic Love

Sometimes, love isn’t about hearts and flowers but rather about power and control. This kind of love is toxic and can be damaging to both parties involved. If you find yourself in a relationship where you feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells or being manipulated, it’s time to get out.


Toxicity breeds negativity, erodes your self-worth, and steals your everyday happiness. What’s even worse is that there’s no winner in such a relationship. I firmly believe in second chances but when toxicity sets in; walk away albeit for a moment.

5. Addictive love

For better for worse doesn’t mean getting hooked. Addictive love makes us vulnerable to abuse and manipulation.

Just like any other addiction, love can be detrimental to our health and well-being. We may become addicted to the feeling of love and start chasing after it in unhealthy ways. This can lead to a dangerous cycle of codependency, jealousy, and even violence. Weaning off any addiction takes time, grit and at times, setbacks. Seek professional help if love addiction is starting to take a toll on your life.

6. Conditional love

Conditional love is when we only love someone as long as they meet our expectations or criteria. This usually happens when we’re trying to change someone instead of accepting them for who they are. It’s important to love someone for who they are and not who we want them to be. Otherwise, we’re just setting ourselves up for disappointment.

7. Love is not always enough

Love is not a shelter in the storm. Sometimes, love is the storm. Realistically, love simply isn’t enough to sustain a relationship. If you find yourself constantly fighting or walking on the edge, it may be time to end things. Love should make us feel good about ourselves, not bad. If your relationship is causing you more pain than happiness, it’s time to let go.

8. Possessive Love


Possessive love is when we try to control our partner or limit their freedom. This usually happens when we’re insecure in the relationship or worried that our partner will leave us. Have a little faith and give your loved ones the benefit of doubt. Possessive love is unhealthy and can lead to jealousy, codependency, and even violence. If you find yourself being possessive of your partner, it’s time to take a step back and reassess things.


If you’re in a love relationship that is causing you harm, it’s important to reach out for help. There are many resources available to assist you in getting out of a harmful situation. And remember, love should never hurt – if it does, something is wrong.

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