Love in Lockup: Breaking the Shackles

Have you watched the movie Prison Break? This is not a direct endorsement of the film but it carries a very interesting storyline. The main character’s brother is arrested on serious charges and has little hope of ever getting out. The younger brother, unable to cope with the thought of his older brother rotting in jail, decides to find a way of breaking him from jail. Crazy, right?

I can’t recall most of the details but the movie offers insights into prison life. If you love binge-watching, take some time to watch the film. Perhaps, you’ll find it enjoyable. That aside, the question explored in today’s article is whether one can find love after lockup. Is there hope for ex-convicts to love, build families and live fulfilling lives? I certainly hope so. Remember the common saying every saint has a past and every sinner has a future? Such magnanimity should be accorded to all ex-convicts.

Dating while in prison

Yes. There are people who date inmates. For instance, if your significant other was locked up for a specific period, most couples choose to give love a chance. Special shoutout to those who successfully navigated such a trying moment and triumphed. You give love and resilience their true meaning. Reading books about how prisoners maintain love while in prison serves as an eyeopener.

In one of the books, the writer followed this couple which started out as simple correspondence between an inmate and a person of faith. The more the two talked, the more they realized their shared ideals and humor. One thing led to another and two years later, the couple tied the knot at the prison’s chapel. Love wins.

Scientific research shows most people dating inmates stumble on them. No one decides to visit a place where a majority would run away from and find love. I guess that’s one of the reasons why love is beautiful. Love finds these people. You start talking to inmates, and the process goes beyond your wildest dreams.

Be Cautious

Crime pays. Amidst the love stories, there are thousands of people swindled by convicts. Also, ensure that you’re not chasing a thrill or a fantasy in the name of love. No one deserves that; not even the condemned. Put your heart in the right place and then go out seeking love. If it sends you in (pun intended) make sure it’s with good intentions.

Would you date a convicted criminal?

That’s a very deep and personal question. Honestly, I have never taken a moment to think about it. Intriguing. With prisoners allowed censured communication with the external world, cases of couples meeting through correspondence keep rising. Some are wild. Consider the case of Charles Manson, the psychotic mass murderer who called off his wedding following revelations his betrothed was secretly buying a glass coffin to charge people to view his remains. Well, I would say that’s psychotic too but it sheds an interesting light on why it’s complicated to find an objective position on the topic.

Complexities of dating convicts

Psychologists have observed a pattern among women who build relationships with inmates. Most tend to display self-esteem and body image issues. In most instances, most are obese and lonely. Talking to prisoners with little to lose is comforting since they feel that such an individual is appreciative and accommodative. This shouldn’t disparage some beautiful stories of couples thriving both in and outside the prison systems. It’s just a way of presenting the facts. We all have our personal issues but don’t let them stick to the wall. There are a million ways to get over any issues other than reaching out to strangers for validation.

Furthermore, some convicts exploit relationships to fund their lifestyles. The checks and monies sent can purchase cigars or carry favors with the police. Therefore, creating a dependence on their ‘loved’ ones becomes a sport. Please, make sure that there are feelings of mutual understanding and care towards each other. Relationships must be balanced; not dependent.

Love is for All

It would be wrong to generalize all convicts. Some people land in jail for misdemeanors or cases of mistaken identity. Such is the cruelty of the world. People reaching out to these individuals offer a lifeline, a window to the outside world. That’s sweet. Come to think of it; writing to a stranger builds an imaginary perfection devoid of the constraints of realism. A utopia. That’s a plus if applied with rationality to manage expectations.

But a few successful cases abound. People who finished serving their terms and got into fruitful relationships. The power of such a story is immense. It encourages those locked up there’s life beyond the metal grails and intrusive officers’ eyes. Love is for all; condemned or not.

We may not how it proceeds but lockup doesn’t curtail a beautiful love story. If life happens, cherish each moment.

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