Let me start by openly stating something which I have always known. Please, don’t judge me. My father instilled a competing spirit from a very young age. For instance, he brought books and rewarded any successful completion on time. Solving algebraic equations or reciting the multiplication table correctly earned you a sausage. Plus the bragging rights. Well, this greatly helped us in the academics but as he rightly observed years later; made us sore losers. I don’t like losing. It’s not farfetched to imagine how hard I am forced to work to become the best. Since there’s always someone doing better or worse than you, learning how to be sincerely happy for others without jealousy is a living virtue. I’m still learning. How many of us experience such feelings?
Overcoming Jealousy
It’s hard to be genuinely happy for others when you’re miserable and everyone seems to be doing better. But research indicates that experiencing both negative and positive feelings can help one cope with difficult moments. So supporting others, even on the surface, should be embraced.
Jealousy is a common emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives. It can be tough to see someone else succeed when we feel like we’re struggling. But instead of letting jealousy consume us, we should try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation and try to be happy for others. My friend, who is admittedly a better person than myself, says rather than viewing other people’s successes as an indictment of her situation, she views it as a motivation to better her situation. The key lies in finding positives even when green with envy.
The pleasure of shared joy
A person’s success doesn’t come at the expense of your own. Well, I know horrible people exist who manipulate and deploy underhand methods to get ahead of the queue. Truth is, this speaks more about their personality than it does about yours. There’s room for everyone to succeed.
Jealousy often stems from the fear that we’re not good enough or that we don’t deserve what we have. So, when we see someone else achieve something great, it can trigger those insecurities. Learning to be happy for others is a way of accepting ourselves and our own accomplishments. It’s also a way of acknowledging that other people are deserving of happiness and success, just as we are.
When we’re jealous of someone, it’s important to remember that their success doesn’t take anything away from us. Instead, it should motivate us to work harder and strive for our own goals. We should view other people’s successes as a reminder that anything is possible if we’re willing to put in the hard work.
When we’re happy for others, it not only makes them feel good, but it also benefits us as well. Seeing someone else do well can inspire us to work harder and achieve our own goals. It’s also a way of supporting others and showing that we care about their success.
The next time you’re feeling jealous of someone, try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation. Congratulate them sincerely and use their success as motivation to achieve your own goals. You might be surprised at how good it feels to genuinely be happy for others.
The world is competitive
Perhaps, acknowledging we all want better things in our lives is a step in the right direction. No one wants to be last. That’s why some people work multiple jobs or crazy hours with the hope of achieving better tidings. The problem is, that this often comes at the expense of our mental and physical health. Sharing joy with others boosts your overall welfare.
It’s good to be ambitious and driven but not at the cost of our well-being. A study by Cigna in 2018 found that 86% of Gen Zers (born between 1997 and 2002) say they frequently or always feel overwhelmed, while 80% say they frequently or always feel lonely. The report also found that millennials (born between 1981 and 1996) are the loneliest generation. It’s not just you. If the world were a fair place, I would be somewhere in Santorini looking at the deep blue ocean waters lying on the warm sandy beaches. I am not. People who can afford this lifestyle aren’t my enemies. I assume, for my sake, they at once dreamed of it all.
Perhaps we can all agree that being happy for others doesn’t make us weak. In fact, it makes us strong. It shows that we’re capable of empathizing with others and supporting them through their successes.
Be Grateful
I’m the last person to offer advice on how you should be happy for others. My father understands. A gratitude outlook helps me cope. Whenever I feel low, he asks me to list five things in my life that I’m grateful for. It’s a great way of reminding myself of the good things in my life and putting my jealousy into perspective.
Some days it’s hard to find anything to be grateful for. In those days, my father tells me to think about the people who are less fortunate than me. There are always people who have it worse than you do. Being grateful for what you have is a way of acknowledging your own privilege and recognizing that other people deserve happiness too.
Note to Self…
It’s not always easy to be happy for others, but it’s important to try. The next time you’re feeling jealous of someone, take a step back and focus on the positive. Congratulate them sincerely and use their success as motivation to achieve your own goals. You might be surprised at how good it feels to genuinely be happy for others.
So next time you’re feeling jealous, try to focus on the positive aspects of the situation. And remember, supporting others is a good way to show that you care. That’s what I’m committing to do. A work colleague got a promotion and it’s time to send her chocolates. Hope she overlooks the delay!
