Single and happy doesn’t have to be an oxymoron. You can enjoy your own company without being in a romantic relationship. No one disputes that there are perks to being in a healthy relationship. Being single is not a condemnation of purgatory until a suitable soulmate comes along.
Heck, no! It’s a stage to explore, introspect, reflect and work towards a better you. There is a social bias towards single people. In a 2008 study done by the European Journal of Social Psychology; single people were perceived as unhappy by others. We’ve got to deal with such stereotypes because it’s totally unfounded and misleading. As a matter of fact, it does you some good to be single at some point in your life.
Here are a few benefits of being single:
1. You get to know yourself better
2. You learn to be independent
3. You have more time for your friends and family
4. You can focus on your career
5. You can travel more
6. You learn to be self-reliant
7. You get to enjoy your own company
8. It gives you time to heal from a previous relationship
9. Helps you deal with codependency issues
10. Gives you time to focus on personal growth
Taking inspiration from Michele Meleen Poetry
Here at Joy Vibes, we don’t limit our commitment to giving you the feel-good factor. It takes pure courage to be single. We applaud individuals who embrace the uncertainties of singlehood. Additionally, the most important thing is to use this phase to build – not sabotage – your future.
One poet uses the power of words to summarize singlehood in a pleasurable way. While there are other poems by Michele Meleen, here’s my favorite on the topic.
Living the Single Life
By Michele Meleen
I’m single because
I won’t let you capture me.
I’m wild and untethered
Choosing to be free.
I go where I want
and do as I please
alone and with others
no commitment to appease.
I’m living the single life
enjoying every moment
until the day comes
when I’m ready to quit.
Psychological Tips to navigating Singlehood – even when looking for a partner
It’s okay to want to be in a relationship. The most important thing is how you go about it.
1. Healthy single people don’t dwell on their single status or feel sorry for themselves. Numerous studies on happiness indicate that you’re the most important element in determining whether you remain happy or not. The best summary to a happy life is; to engage in meaningful activities, have a social support system, and mindfulness. Entrenching these aspects ensures the singlehood phase doesn’t spiral into a pity party and depression.
2. They create their own happiness and don’t base it on whether they have a partner or not. Do you really need a partner to be happy? Take some time to look in the mirror and appreciate the person you see.
3. They are independent and know how to enjoy their own company without feeling lonely or bored. In the book ‘How To be Single and Happy’ by Dr. Taitz, she talks of a strength that has to be there during singlehood. When in relationships with others, you tend to rely on them and this stifles your inner resilience and toughness. Being single frees up such dependency and lets you tap into your innate abilities, resulting in a confident person.
4. They have fulfilling friendships and hobbies outside of their romantic relationships. Personally, I enjoy going for long walks or sitting in a quiet place and reading a book. These are hobbies I cultivated at a stage when everything felt shattered following a breakdown in a long-term relationship. I also volunteer at a seniors’ home. Looking back, these activities bring personal fulfillment. I purposed to maintain these hobbies even after getting into relationships. Whenever facing challenges, I always fall back on these hobbies to rekindle my spirit.
5. They don’t try to change themselves to fit someone else’s idea of the perfect partner – they know that they are perfect just the way they are. With self-reflection comes self-appreciation, and confidence.
Can one be happy and single, forever?
This is a deep and subjective question. It requires a clear evaluation of your life goals, mission, and desires. Hold yourself accountable for these features and understand the consequences of such a decision. Human beings are social beings. A little company won’t hurt but that’s your decision. Whichever way it goes, the Joy Vibes cheers you on.
Stay happy while single
Our happiness should not be based on other people’s validations, acceptance, or involvement in our lives. We can choose to be unapologetically single and absolutely happy while doing so.
Love yourself first and foremost and everything else will fall into place. Who knows, you might even find someone who loves you for exactly who you are. Until then, enjoy your single status and be happy!